The Jitters

[caption id="attachment_166" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Road less Travelled"][/caption]

 

Wow.  I can't believe l have the jitters.  Why, you may ask?  Guess what, l'm going to tell you.  It's part  therapy, part entertainment, to get it out. And  calms my nerves.

I saw an ad for a van on Craigslist 2 weeks ago.  I was really interested in it.  The catch was, l was out of town for 3 weeks, and wouldn't be back in town until after the person had left the country.  I was a little down about that.  But then l thought, it wasn't meant to be.  My Mom always said "everything happens for a reason".  So with those words, you tend to deal with things a little more gently.

Well, last night l got an e-mail from the guy, and as it seems, his plans have changed and he will be in town longer.  And he hasn't sold it yet.

Last night, l was feeling, great, how perfect.

This morning l woke up and was feeling "Oh shit, l might actually have to buy this thing and go travel."

The feeling l experienced this morning, reminds me of the same one l experienced when l had decided to go across America in my car 10
years ago.  I had the jitters just prior to leaving.  I think when you put a dream out there, and think about it constantly, when the planning all comes together, there comes a point when you have to do it.  You have to jump.

I’m pretty adventurous, l’ve travelled a lot, l change my life constantly for the “new” thrill, and  l still have the jitters about this  adventure?  I guess  experiencing  the jitters again has made me realize, that me, who can change things so easily, can still get the jitters, l guess l  now have to be more understanding for all the people that don’t like change, how DAMN SCARY change can be.

For my first road trip I put all my stuff in storage, dropped my cats off at my sisters then drove around US for almost 2 months.  It was a great experience, except it was too fast.  I did as l call them “20 minute” tours of all the places l stopped in.  l felt l was in a race to finish it.  I didn't take anytime to stop and experience the places l was in.  I wish l had, but l was to programed to feel guilty for having so much time off.

I was planning on staying at hostels along the way, but l also spent many a night in my car in the Walmart parking lot.  It was chilly sometimes.  I wasn't really prepared to use my car as a sleeping arrangement, but l did.

I bought a US park pass and l made a point of at least doing the “20 minute” tour of every park along the way.  This time l want to do it slower.  I want to smell the roses.  I want to breath deep.  I want to write as l go.   I wrote the first time too, little snippets home to a select e-mail list (Blogs didn't exhist then).  My original plan was to write more, but l was too busy flying through all the town, l forgot to make time.  Ok, l didn't forget, l just felt that there was always a fire under my butt and l had to keep moving.

Last time when l experienced these feeling prior to a trip I spoke to a very good friend of mine who travelled all the time.  She had spent year long furloughs in places like South America, Asia, Spain.  She said even she got nervous before a long  trip.  10 years ago l breathed deep and jumped in. That’s all l have to do this time to.  Breath deep and jump.