Sunday, November 6, 2011

Continental Divide


Today l drove over the Continental Divide twice today on my adventures.  I found it fitting that l passed it today, l have been pondering my decisions, faults, and qualities.  I usually do a lot of thinking when l drive.  Sometimes the radios on, more often then not, l drive in silence, with only my thoughts as company.

There are times that l celebrate my spontaneousness.  I love that l handle change well.  I actually go running towards it.  Stagnation for me is like a little death.  I adapt well to new things.  I go to the well, take a sip, if l enjoy it, a long drink.  If l don't find it to my taste, l put down the ladle and move on, without regret.

I am generally a very positive, optimistic person, and even if l feel l made a mistake, l know in the long run, it was for the best.  Now that being said, sometimes.....

I wish l was a bit more like "the stickers".  You know the ones.  The ones that can stay at a job, or in a relationship they don't like for years and years.  Sometimes l think if l was a bit more like those ones, my life would be easier.  At least in societies eyes/standards.

Alas, that's not me.  I missed getting my share when they were handing that quality out at birth.  Love me or leave me, l guess.

I'm getting more and more comfortable with my decision to travel on a more permanent basis.  There are two friends in my life that know the extent that l want to travel.  That l plan to pick up and move into a van and travel.  I am at my own continental divide.  I can lean one way, and conform to the norm.  Secretly dieing a little more each day.  Giving  up on dreams, smashing them into nothingness, trying to ignore them (until l snap).

Or l can lean to the other and  l can scream out to the world and say, "Who cares what anyone thinks.  This is what l am doing".  I don't know how it will work out.  I will have to live day by day, that is what l thrive on anyways.  And for the people that judge me, Oh well, l'll try not to return the favor.

It's getting closer to the time that l can runaway.  I actually feel it is more of a running to.

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