Sunday, November 6, 2011
Today l drove over the Continental Divide twice today on my adventures. I found it fitting that l passed it today, l have been pondering my decisions, faults, and qualities. I usually do a lot of thinking when l drive. Sometimes the radios on, more often then not, l drive in silence, with only my thoughts as company.
There are times that l celebrate my spontaneousness. I love that l handle change well. I actually go running towards it. Stagnation for me is like a little death. I adapt well to new things. I go to the well, take a sip, if l enjoy it, a long drink. If l don't find it to my taste, l put down the ladle and move on, without regret.
I am generally a very positive, optimistic person, and even if l feel l made a mistake, l know in the long run, it was for the best. Now that being said, sometimes.....
I wish l was a bit more like "the stickers". You know the ones. The ones that can stay at a job, or in a relationship they don't like for years and years. Sometimes l think if l was a bit more like those ones, my life would be easier. At least in societies eyes/standards.
Alas, that's not me. I missed getting my share when they were handing that quality out at birth. Love me or leave me, l guess.
I'm getting more and more comfortable with my decision to travel on a more permanent basis. There are two friends in my life that know the extent that l want to travel. That l plan to pick up and move into a van and travel. I am at my own continental divide. I can lean one way, and conform to the norm. Secretly dieing a little more each day. Giving up on dreams, smashing them into nothingness, trying to ignore them (until l snap).
Or l can lean to the other and l can scream out to the world and say, "Who cares what anyone thinks. This is what l am doing". I don't know how it will work out. I will have to live day by day, that is what l thrive on anyways. And for the people that judge me, Oh well, l'll try not to return the favor.
It's getting closer to the time that l can runaway. I actually feel it is more of a running to.