[/caption]Wow. I can't believe l have the jitters. Why, you may ask? Guess what, l'm going to tell you. It's part therapy, part entertainment, to get it out. And calms my nerves.
I saw an ad for a van on Craigslist 2 weeks ago. I was really interested in it. The catch was, l was out of town for 3 weeks, and wouldn't be back in town until after the person had left the country. I was a little down about that. But then l thought, it wasn't meant to be. My Mom always said "everything happens for a reason". So with those words, you tend to deal with things a little more gently.
Well, last night l got an e-mail from the guy, and as it seems, his plans have changed and he will be in town longer. And he hasn't sold it yet.
Last night, l was feeling, great, how perfect.
This morning l woke up and was feeling "Oh shit, l might actually have to buy this thing and go travel."
The feeling l experienced this morning, reminds me of the same one l experienced when l had decided to go across America in my car 10
years ago. I had the jitters just prior to leaving. I think when you put a dream out there, and think about it constantly, when the planning all comes together, there comes a point when you have to do it. You have to jump.
I’m pretty adventurous, l’ve travelled a lot, l change my life constantly for the “new” thrill, and l still have the jitters about this adventure? I guess experiencing the jitters again has made me realize, that me, who can change things so easily, can still get the jitters, l guess l now have to be more understanding for all the people that don’t like change, how DAMN SCARY change can be.
For my first road trip I put all my stuff in storage, dropped my cats off at my sisters then drove around US for almost 2 months. It was a great experience, except it was too fast. I did as l call them “20 minute” tours of all the places l stopped in. l felt l was in a race to finish it. I didn't take anytime to stop and experience the places l was in. I wish l had, but l was to programed to feel guilty for having so much time off.
I was planning on staying at hostels along the way, but l also spent many a night in my car in the Walmart parking lot. It was chilly sometimes. I wasn't really prepared to use my car as a sleeping arrangement, but l did.
I bought a US park pass and l made a point of at least doing the “20 minute” tour of every park along the way. This time l want to do it slower. I want to smell the roses. I want to breath deep. I want to write as l go. I wrote the first time too, little snippets home to a select e-mail list (Blogs didn't exhist then). My original plan was to write more, but l was too busy flying through all the town, l forgot to make time. Ok, l didn't forget, l just felt that there was always a fire under my butt and l had to keep moving.
Last time when l experienced these feeling prior to a trip I spoke to a very good friend of mine who travelled all the time. She had spent year long furloughs in places like South America, Asia, Spain. She said even she got nervous before a long trip. 10 years ago l breathed deep and jumped in. That’s all l have to do this time to. Breath deep and jump.
